Flying

June 25, 2009

Twenty (gulp) five years ago today, yes you heard that correctly, 25 years ago in 1984, I graduated from high school. And there are only two words I have to say about that… Holy Crap. Actually, I have more than two words to say but the aforementioned pair sort of sums things up.

It’s amazing how quickly time flies.

Graduating, for me, is a mark of completion and achievement. A journey from there, the place where you lay down your goal, to here, that place of accomplishment. Back in ’84 I felt a bit like an impostor. I knew that when I reached the podium and held out my hand to accept the plump, brown manila envelope mine would be empty. The one credit needed to fulfill the amount required to receive my diploma, eluded me. I hadn’t failed any courses. I just felt it was more important to have a spare each semester. And what difference did it make anyway? I planned on taking a year off to find myself (still looking). But a year later, when I cluelessly hit the campus at the University of Manitoba, I handled my course load as if it was a game of hot potato, dropping classes faster than you can say, “Ouch, that burns”. I never had a plan. I didn’t know how to make one. And, after twenty some odd years have passed I still don’t quite know what I want to do.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time looking over my shoulder. I’ve let a few dreams go because I’ve worried how I might appear. I’ve let doubt cloud over my ability and fear get in the way of moving forward.

But I know… I know I can spread my wings at anytime. I can stand at the top of the growing mountain of goals I hope to one day achieve, bend down to grasp one firmly in hand and step forward.

In some ways it feels as if I graduated from high school yesterday while at the same time, since then, many lives have been lived. But, I’ve never stopped learning. I’ve never stopped evolving into this person I’ve become, although at times it’s hard to see.

Twenty five years from now when I’m scanning the inventory of all I’ve wanted to achieve against a list of those  accomplishments I acquired, I hope I’m left with a satisfied sense that instead of time I was the one to fly.

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