(Day 23) I Ask You

August 9, 2009

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror, literally or figuratively, and ask yourself what you want? I’m talking… really want. I mean, looking passed all the filters and nerves and obstacles. Peering passed what we tell ourselves we should do. Seeing beyond what we feel obligated to do or what we tell ourselves we’re only capable of doing. Looking into and through the stuff we tell ourselves we can’t do because there’s not enough money, we don’t have the skills, or time or… or… or… You know what I mean? Do you ever lean into yourself and gaze into that place that leads to the heart of the matter (the heart of your matter) of what you truly want to experience in your life? To reach that point of vision (and I’m not even talking about doing whatever it might be  – that comes later-  I mean just seeing it, or admitting that it exists) I think you have to get very quiet. You have to sit very still. You have to turn the internal mumblings way down. Shhhhhh… Because in order to really see it…  to understand its texture, to taste it, get a whiff of its scent, to hear it… all the internal buzzing and distractions need to be shut off. For some of us these little (or not so little) lives have been asleep for so long we’ve forgotten that they’re there. We’re familiar with that place inside of us, though, because it feels a bit hollow or sluggish or tired or numb. We can’t quite put our finger on it. It could be anything. It’s that place inside of us we sense but choose (consciously or not) to ignore. We close our eyes and turn up the lullaby music. What is it exactly? I believe deep inside of us we know. We think it’s easier to ignore the snoring then to reach in and wake it up.

But is it?

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