(Day 32) Letting Go

August 18, 2009

Do you hear that sound? That’s me tearing up yet another journal into little, bitty pieces. Yes, I’m multitasking. I’ve been choosing the notebooks randomly, whatever is on the top of the pile is the one I choose to read. No rooting around for a particular cover. I know the red one with the torn spine and broken lock is from the early ’80s. Or the spiral notebook with the rainbow cover is from ’82 – ’84. I was into rainbows when I was 16 and had them everywhere. I just finished that one and had a lot of fun with it despite the multiple heartbreaks (mine) and difficulty locating anything that resemble my self esteem. Ah… high school…

I’m not one of those together journal keepers who use the same style of notebook and have the years and filing system all in sync and organized chronologically. I have to admit I do see myself as that type of person. As a matter of fact, for the last few years I’ve felt like an incredibly neat and ordered individual trapped in the body of someone who’s “system” has gone all topsy turvy and chaotic.

[Unrelated question (or maybe it is related to the disorganized theme): Why bother sending a street cleaner to hose down and sweep up the road minutes before the garbage and compostable waste bins get collected? Wouldn’t it be better to send the street cleaner a day (or even an hour) after the garbage and rotting debris get collected? Just wondering.]

Where was I… Oh yeah, me. Over the years my journal writing system has consisted of writing in whatever book I had on hand. (That is until I discovered Claire Fonataine- swoon. And, I only write on graph paper. I can’t stand lined paper. Yuck.) I’ve even written entries on single pieces of paper then stuffed the sheets into whatever book I had on the go. Now, I have all of these wordy tomes busting open with the tales of my past. It’s me trying to figure out who I am, and it ain’t always pretty. No sir… I’ve certainly seen a few (a few?!!) repeated patterns over the years. Some that I’ve let go of and some that I hope to release soon. As a couple of people suggested, I started to jot down the occasions I want to remember on my computer (takes up way less space). But ultimately, I continue to be satisfied by my decision to bid this disorganized collection of past events farewell.

Ta ta to my well worn bad habits. It’s out with the old and in with the new.

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One Response to “(Day 32) Letting Go”

  1. […] 25, 2009 Why does garbage day seem to piss me off so much lately? (I also wrote about it here and here. And by the way, once again the street cleaners came this morning to hose down and dust the […]

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