Just Wonderin’…

October 17, 2009

Why would a bank want the initials BM in their handle?

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Stating The Obvious

October 16, 2009

Instead of continuously stopping to look out at it (it’s too big/too far away/I want it so badly-yikes), if I  just keep moving forward, while directing my attention and energy to the steps I’m taking to achieve it, I believe I’ll get there faster.

That and That and Ugh…

October 15, 2009

I feel motivated. But, as much as I dig the feeling it is bittersweet because I also feel incredibly sleep deprived. The mix of these two states spells – deprivimoted. Don’t bother looking it up. All you need to know is – it ain’t good.

After falling asleep at about midnight, I laid in bed during the wee hours this morning, between 1:30-something to 3:40-ish (I got up at 7), trying to quiet the random rambling in my head. I mulled and organized and stewed and stared and figured and planned. I regretted and fumed. I undid then did over. And, of course, I tossed and turned.

I said to myself, “Okay… I’ll do that and that and get better at all of those other things. I’ll start that and finish that and learn that and stop doing that. I’ll eat more of that and less of that and drink more of that and less of that. I let go of that, and that, and that – oh – and that (and that). And, I’ll sleep better too.

The Pool

October 14, 2009

At times, I had the lane to myself.

The entire lane,

To myself.

There were moments when all I had floating in my mind was the glimmering water, the rising sun through the high up windows and its reflection off my arms as they rose,

then fell,

then rose again.

Breathe… breathe… breathe…

And to think, I almost talked myself out of going.

Some Daze

October 13, 2009

Some days, as much as I want it to, time just does not permit.

I’m Grateful For…

October 12, 2009

My family, my friends (past and present), the roof over my head, the shoes on my feet, the clothes on my back (and other body parts), the food on my plate, the drink in my glass, great macchiatos, my job, having today off and getting paid for it, my workmates (see friends), my health, my sense of humour, my creativity, the projects I’m working on, the vibrant colours of nature, a clear sky, cozy rainy days, a gentle breeze, the moonlight, the Toronto Public Library, being from Winnipeg, the Textile Museum, great movies, great music, great plays, Mosaic (especially Passing Time), Joni Mitchell, great books, dates with myself, singing, my love of baking and cooking (especially when I have the time to enjoy it), Lise, inspiring projects, great restaurants, my blog, other peoples’ blogs, my computer, a passing stranger’s smile, an opened door, a thank you, feeling welcome, an “I understand”, the trail by my house, the New Yorker magazine, watching movies at home with Bill, all of my senses, the great galleries in Toronto, crossing a long overdue item off my list, hanging out with my family and friends, my strength (even when I think I don’t have it- I do), my wisdom (even when I think I don’t know it- I do), learning, growing, healthy relationships, my travels and those to come, the truth (even when it’s hard to hear), my camera, the days I look in the mirror and smile, all the cringe worthy moments in my life I’ve forgiven myself for or let go of, my confidence (though at times it’s hard to find), my life and those moments when I’m truly living it.

For all these things and more – I’m truly grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

‘cuz it’s not.

Moving Day

October 8, 2009

I did it. Finally… I moved my gigumbo grass plant to its new home and I pray it survives the relocation. If you have time over the next few days (or how ever long it takes to sink down those roots and feel cozy) please send Gigumbo some good grownin’/ I-hope-you-survive-the-winter vibes.

Even though it was situated in the most awkward spot I love that plant and hope it will make it.

…ing

October 7, 2009

waking, yawning, walking, swimming, walking, writing, running, riding, reading, working, racing, reading, returning, tidying, eating, relaxing, watching, clearing, cleansing, reading, yawning, sleeping. repeating.

Tilted

October 6, 2009

Some days… what usually feels flat seems tilted and I feel like I’m going to fall.