Out With The Old…

December 31, 2009

Is it just me, or did this year seem to whiz by rather quickly? Seems like just yesterday I was nursing my first hangover of the year. I can’t actually remember if I had a hangover or not those 364 days ago, but if my memory serves me correctly, I may have fallen asleep before the mighty hand of time struck that magical hour, flipping us into the new year. We’ll see how tonight goes. I have no major plan but the day still feels special.

I really wanted this last post to be filled with all of my hits of interest from the year but trying to conjure them all up is proving to be more difficult that I thought (insert static sound here). I should have kept track of the highs and lows when I decided I wanted to share them all, but then I decided to toss all of my shoulds out the window – where does that leave me? You would think, by the buzzing in my brain, nothing noteworthy happened but it’s a matter of perspective. What would be interesting to do this coming year is slap a sticky note on my wall each time I see or do something that makes an impact. I bet my wall will be plastered with them. I think we forget how many interesting ups or downs there are in a year – in a day, even. I’d rather hang on to the daily uppers and let go of all the yucky stuff. Not always so easy to do but I’ll give it a whirl.

A few random the highlights wedging their way into the hum:

  • The Contact Toronto Photography Festival I devoured in May. I check it out every year. Lots of great stuff. And, it’s FREE for the most part (I absolutely love that). I saw a few of shows more than once but it was Jeff Harris’s exhibit of  3,653 shots of himself (taken by himself or others), one daily shot over the span of ten years, that stands out. It completely worked for me and inspired my 43 self portraits on my blog after my birthday in July.
  • I started blogging. Something I’ve wanted to do even before blogging was an actual activity.
  • I started taking a french class. I put that one off pendant longtemps.
  • I almost completed a pretty substantial writing project (so close) I’m not quite ready to out yet. I’m not sure where it will lead me but regardless of where it goes, I will say, it is a real accomplishment for me and I’m pleased to have gone this far with it. Any positive vibes you feel like sending on its behalf, bring it on.
  • How do I say this one? If I’m laying down the highlights I have to mention the discovery of a jaw-dropping, buried treasure that was truly one of the best bits of news I could have ever received.

Okay, I’ll leave it at that even though, speaking of buried treasures, I know there must be more.

It is true, tomorrow is just another day, but, like the beginning of September, I have always felt a certain surge of promise when replacing the old calendar with a new one (note to self: buy new calendar). I feel the same way about Mondays but January 1st definitely delivers a more powerful kick to my butt which I need from time to time. I haven’t bothered to make any New Year Resolutions since I pretty much vow to resolve every morning when I open my eyes. It has been a good year, although, not always an easy one. Despite the bits of sad news, the heartfelt losses and sorrowful moments, so difficult to avoid in living ones life, there have also been tremendous gains. I’m thankful for that. The sun has not always been shining but I never expected it would. I don’t mean for that to be taken negatively that’s just the way it goes. A few cloudy days are what make the sunny ones shine brighter.


Long AGO But Not Far Away

December 30, 2009

Took myself on a date yesterday to the Art Gallery of Ontario. This is the first time I stepped into the place since the big Gehry reno and I have to say… I am impressed. The place is stunning. And, for me to say that after seeing the joint on, what seemed like one of the busiest days of the year, is a monumental compliment. Normally, I would not have ventured into the gallery at such a hectic time of year. I prefer meandering through the various rooms with as few distractions as possible, having the works of art all to myself. But, things can not always happen this way. I wanted to catch the Edward Steichen: In High Fashion, The Condé Nast Years 1923 – 1937 exhibit, which closes in a few days and, me being me, left it to the last-minute. Better late than never, though, the place was humming with activity. Lots of families fluttering around. Once I accepted the general liveliness I felt my heart melt several times seeing some of the parents introducing their wee ones to the art scene. It was wonderful watching the kids (I’m talking between 5 – 12 years old) taking it all in with such serious interest. I also learned a thing or two about various pieces, eavesdropping on conversations, while an enthusiastic elder explained a technique or concept to the younger in their charge. Nice.

After checking out the Steichen photographs (I love the fashion from that era) I saw The Alexander Calder Exhibit: The Paris Yeas 1926 – 1933 (loved it) and most of the other offerings at the gallery – except for the King Tut exhibit, which I avoided like the plague, since the line up for it was unbelievable.

Overall, I have to say, the gallery itself is a masterpiece. All those long curves and light wood. Natural light streaming in at various locations. The Galleria Italia… Stunning. And the place is big. Bigger than I remember and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in the AGO over the years. I was there for about four hours yesterday and could have spent more time but my mind gets full after a while. I didn’t want to gorge myself. I need to go back one day in the near future once the holiday madness has subsided. I decided that one just before I walked out the door.


December 27, 2009

There is a light seed grain inside.

You fill it with yourself, or it dies.

I’m caught in this curling energy. Your hair!

Whoever’s calm and sensible is insane!


Delicious. I could read those words over and over again. It’s like staring at piece of art and trying to decide how it truly makes me feel.

Flop House

December 26, 2009

For a lot of folks Boxing Day is all about the sales. But, for me this year, today is all about flopping. I’m reaching for the remote and popping another dvd into the player. I usually end up buying a bunch of stuff I don’t need anyway.


December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noël!  Season’s Greetings!


December 24, 2009

I’ve been running about half an hour behind schedule today since it took me that long to figure out what day of the week it is. I laid in bed this morning, my eyes half open (as opposed to half closed. I’m that kind of person.), shifting left and right while I tried to clue into whether or not there was a reason I needed to spring out of bed. Heaven forbid I use those springing muscles unnecessarily.

I’m so confused. Today feels like Saturday, not Thursday. But, even though the clock is edging toward 6:30 pm, if it were a usual Saturday I’d be at work right now. I had planned to pop the cork on my wine bottle at 6:00. You see what I mean about running behind?

Before it gets any later (and before I pour myself a glass), let me just say, whatever it is you’re up to over the next few days, or any day for that matter, let me take this opportunity to wish you the Merriest of Everything – Always.


Atmospheric Pressure

December 22, 2009

Maybe you could tell by my lack of expression but over the last few days I’ve been at a loss for words. I’ve wanted to write more, sitting here for too long staring at the blank screen, or, after blathering on about one situation or another, just before I click on the tab to add the post, I decide to “choose all”, then delete. The seasonal blahs (is that what it is?) are hanging over my head like a densely packed storm cloud waiting to burst (snow, rain) or break (sunshine, clear skies) with the slightest change in the direction of the wind. This is not an all-consuming feeling, and I’m thankful for that, but it is a little vague. It’s like a small pit of… (what?) emptiness? longing? a readjustment to the cold weather and short days? (ah, but they are getting longer) all residing in my gut, which for me is where my internal barometer resides. Maybe that vaguely familiar tenderness is my very own atmospheric pressure clueing me into the fact that things are a little – off.

Should I, or, Shouldn’t I?

December 18, 2009

I just finished reading another book, The Glass House by, Jeannette Walls. Another memoir. Devoured it in a few days, which considering how busy I should be, is quite impressive. Impressive, that is, if impressions are based on keeping ones eyes drawn toward the page and away from all of the other things one should be crossing off their arm’s length list of To Do’s.

Should is a strange word. It denotes procrastination (as if I need any help in that department) and obligation which I don’t like feeling, either. It would be a great exercise for me to take all of the should-be-doing’s in my life and change them into want-to’s or I-must’s. For example: I should stop reading this or that great book and straighten my desk because I’m beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic. Or, I really should start knocking a few items off my list here instead of thinking about doing it.  All I need do is exchange the “should” to want, desire, pine to do, can’t live without, etc… and in no time, I will  see/hear/feel the attitude change. What I really should must do is gather all of my shoulds in a pile and decide what they truly are. I’m guessing about 85% of them (and this is a rough estimate) are actually things I want to accomplish or have a deep desire to attain. Attaching that should-y quality makes them feel heavy and sluggish instead of fulfilling and life enhancing. The other 15% I’d say are things I think I should be doing out of obligation or misguided belief that that the way things (yes, you guessed it) should be done. I imagine I could cross most of those off my list all together and be done with it.

Basically, all I’m saying is, it pretty much boils down to a change in attitude. Should I tidy my desk or do I want to? And, to be honest with you just writing that makes me want to slap myself. Just tidy your desk already, Kim. (Some of this stuff is so trivial.) I must stop should-ing over everything and dive in. I needed to pep-talk myself this morning. Now, I should get out the door if I want to make it in to work on time.


I was late.

December 17, 2009

Fa la la la la la la la la

December 15, 2009

Look up.