5) Hittin’ It

March 6, 2010

I know I’ve mentioned in the past (yawn) how I must have been absent the day they (they being the beacons of knowledge infusing wisdom into my adolescent mind) doled out the lessons in life outlining the necessary skills  required to construct a successful career. I was going to say a successful life but that would devalue the merits of being a decent person (family member, friend, respecter of the environment and mankind in general) which I believe I am. This must be counted in the measurement of success, no? I think we forget that sometimes. Anyway, I don’t recall a specific moment in my malleable youth of someone (anyone?) sitting me down and saying, “Look, you’ve got this long wide, windy road ahead of you. What mode of transportation are you going to choose to glide across it.” Maybe I’m blocking it. It’s always easier to blame someone else for that flat even though you heard the annoying hiss of air blowing out of the tire. You could feel the car listing slightly to one side and still you didn’t bother to check if there was a spare in the trunk. Why be so surprised, then, when your car’s tilted into a ditch somewhere and your bagging your head against the steering wheel? It’s your car, isn’t it? If your old enough to own it, it’s up to you make sure it can negotiate a lane change without ending up nosed into some gutter with your shaky hand hovering over the gear shift locked in neutral.

Okay, where the hell am I going with all this down to road of life business – when I don’t even own a car or drive? I guess what I’m saying is, at a certain point in one’s life, your mid-forties, say (sooner would be better but you can’t unclasp and wind back the white knuckled hands of time), a face slapping realization must be made. The only person who can steer you from the wishy-washy place of what-the-fuck? to I-made-it is – you.

Obv…

Just because something is obvious doesn’t mean it’s so easy to come by (or, it doesn’t if you’re me). One of the biggest ice picks in the tire for me is procrastination which, believe me, can be caused by a multitude of reasons (laziness, fear, time, the direction of the wind…)  but the result is the same – a body length list with only one or two items scratched off. The longer the list, the less I want to look at it for fear of busting out in hives. Isn’t there a bit somewhere suggesting that even if you’re driving down the darkest road, heavily obscured by dense fog, you can still get to where your going. You just flip on the high beams and follow that small patch of pavement illuminated by the lights of your car. Sooner or later either a) you reach your destination or b) the sun rises.

On this road of life we’re constantly traversing, whether we’re at a dead-end, a yield or go-for-it green, it’s our own light we must follow and the more we chip away at the road blocks, I gather, the brighter that light becomes.

Here’s to the long, wide, smooth road ahead. And, my list of the week.

No More Excuses. Not even:

  • It’s too late/ too soon.
  • I’m too old/ too young
  • I’m too tired.
  • It’s raining/snowing/too sunny/too cold/ too hot/ too perfect out.
  • I feel too good/ I feel crappy.
  • I’ll look stupid.
  • I don’t want to boast.
  • I don’t know how to begin.
  • They did it better
  • I can’t (even though I haven’t even tried.)
  • I can’t do it any better (even though I haven’t tried hard enough.)
  • I don’t want to fuck it up (as if not doing “it” at all is better)
  • I’m not good enough.
  • They’re all going to laugh at me (think of that scene in the movie Carrie… not good.)
  • Law and Order’s on (The original)
  • I have to wash my hair/I just washed my hair
  • I have nothing to wear
  • I spent too much time surfing the net

This is one of those lists I could put just about anything on. There is always an excuse, isn’t there?

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2 Responses to “5) Hittin’ It”

  1. Mommy X said

    I love this post!!! Thank you…this is truly the best of you!

  2. Heather said

    Fantastic!

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