24) Yikes…

July 24, 2010

I’m not the type of person who has a multitude of phobias floating around inside my brain and for that I am truly thankful. But I can’t deny there are a few things hovering, quietly shaking in their boots, that I fear I am afraid of. This week’s list is inspired by Jeanine’s post over here. Misery love company, no?

List 24 – Things that I’m afraid of:

  • a knock on my door when I’m not expecting anyone.
  • bumping into someone I know at the doctor’s office – which has happened to me on more than one occasion. This is not always unpleasant but can be a bit awkward.
  • that I will never get organized.
  • that I still sometimes care what people think about me.
  • stepping into an elevator before realizing the only other person in it, lurking just behind the door, is someone I really don’t feel like talking to.
  • sitting on a wet seat on the subway. With those upholstered chairs it can be difficult to detect a wet patched, ew.
  • gigantic insects or wild animals.
  • people who walk up to me, stand and inch from my face and scream (at the top of their lungs, from the pit of their stomach) how they want to kill me. This actually happened once, years ago. After the initial shock wore off I was able to shake it loose. Got to love city living.
  • having a rock thrown at my head. This also happened years ago. The rock just missed me but I could actually hear it whiz by my head. Thankfully, I am not a paranoid person.
  • becoming a paranoid person.
  • never reaching my potential.
  • not being able to take care of myself.
  • never be able to speak or understand French fully.
  • not being understood.
  • being stuck at my job (as grateful as I am for it and as fortunate as I am for working with the best people on the planet I just… )
  • not loving what I do each day. I want my days to energize me instead of zapping my of energy.
  • not finishing my screenplay and then, once I finish it, not seeing it produced.
  • allowing my creatively, inspired ideas to fizzle out like a spent sparkler on New Years Day.
  • screwing it (fill in the blank) up.
  • anxiety and/or panic attacks. This does not happen much anymore. Whew…
  • never allowing or admitting to myself what I want from this life of mine (which I really do love and am truly grateful for. So, then why… ?) and then not having what it takes to make it happen. (Tick/tock Kim.)
  • Losing someone close to me.
  • Getting seriously sick. Or, sick at all.
  • Someone close to me getting seriously sick. Or, sick at all.

It’s interesting to write all of this down but strange, too. It’s good to take a look of things that scare you sometimes, I think, to shine some light on what might be holding you back. Maybe it will make it easier for me to focus on the opposite of these fear inducers. I have every intention of taking this list and flipping it around.

Power of positive thinking, you dig?!

I’ll post the word of the day this evening. I must fulgurate to the subway if I want to make it to work on time.

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