Over my head

August 9, 2010


Night light

The August Break -Day Nine

Word of the day.

Gerent. \ JEER-uhnt \ n. A ruler or manager.

“But,” I said to him, “whatever happens and no matter how hard I fall, I will always be the gerant of my own life.

I’ve been in that kind of head-space, today, where I feel as if I’m in over my head. I continue to do battle with the french language, among other things – and, I really do say that fondly, but some days I feel a wee bit defeated. Have I said that before? Probably… My class just went from two to three hours for the next month – twice a week. Add to that work, chores and all of my distractions and you’ve got one dizzying equation for who the hell knows what? I feel as if I’m being whipped around on one of those rides at The Ex where, at least back in my day, in Winnipeg, there was this spinning contraption that spun you around at such a velocity you’d get smacked up and stuck against the wall. And, if that wasn’t force enough to reckon with, the floor dropped out leaving you stranded, pinned and dangling while you wondered how much more of it you could take. But, it always slowed down, eventually. I’d peel myself off the wall, then straighten myself and out before you knew it I’d be in line for the next ride jumping at the chance to be tossed around again.

I sure hope this time I can hang on this time. I probably can.


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