Point of View

March 12, 2011

Gracefully labouring under the weight of it all.

There’s something about a challenge the has me quaking in my boots. I’m not one of those people who, as much as I long for it at times, does change very well. Lately, I’ve been wondering what this particular characteristic of mine is all about. Challenges are a basic part of life so, why aren’t the positive ones met with more of the butterflies of excitement instead of those fluttering bat wings of dread.

It’s a matter of perspective.

Now, although I think all challenges could lead to changing a situation for the better I’m not going to pretend I welcome all of them. I’m talking about the type of stumbling block that stops me in my tracks on the way to a desired goal. Whether it be learning a new language (yes, I am still taking French classes and it is not always easy) or finding a better way to make a living (I’ve been at the same job for over twenty years), when the going gets rough, I either want to give up or completely ignore (or try to ignore) that I wanted to improve my situation to begin with.  Most of the challenges I come up against are filled with positive change: a move forward, a step ahead, a possible way to sliding me closer to a goal I’ve been pining to attain.

I think what it all boils down to is a general lack of confidence. Fear of failure is an enormous weight to bare, especially when you have (or had) no idea you’ve been hoisting it around since you were old enough to strive for anything. I believe making a conscious effort is the key to change but as obvious as that sounds it is not always simple to see. We can fool ourselves into believing that it is better to stay in a discontented situation then changing our position in life because it can be scary not knowing what the view will be like from that new location. But I’m beginning to understand it’s better to tighten those boot laces around my quaking legs and start climbing.

A sign of what's to come.

Reflection

March 5, 2011

When I woke up last Sunday I peered out the window and saw piles of that fluffy stuff clinging to the branches. You would think I’d be over seeing all that snow by now but instead my heart, as opposed to skipping, jogged a few feet ahead, inspiring me to toss back a coffee, grab my cam and pull on my Sorrells as quickly as possible before the snow started melting.

I was trying to capture the trees reflecting in the creek which looked stunning, especially when the sun was out. I am not doing the scene justice.

It was a stunning day on the trail and had been way to long since I last ventured down there. It always (always! ALWAYS!!) lifts my spirits which have been hovering in low terrain these days. Even though my swoop in mood hasn’t felt so great (don’t worry I swing up ever once in a while) I have a pretty good (ugh) feeling I know what’s responsible for it. The trick will be to grab that overbearing catalyst by its root and keep pulling up (up! UP!!!) with as much strength as I can muster. This has got to happen. I hope to write about it sometime soon once I can form a few coherent thoughts about this place I’m in and have a clearer vision of where I’m going.


Pensive

March 1, 2011

A snowy Sunday morning in Toronto.

An entire week went by without a post from yours truly. I’ve been a bit pensive, lately, trying to figure out what it is I want to do around here – and here and here and there also. I’m at a fork in the road but not sure what direction to follow. As with any fork related dead end, I know I must turn one way or the other. Even straight ahead would be okay, over the rough and bumpy terrain and unpaved roads – not to mention road blocks. Maybe I need to pour my own roadways in order to forge ahead. If I could only see exactly where is I want to go.

In the meantime, walks along a snowy trail can do wonders for the mind. More shots to follow.