I’ve Had A Few (too many?)

December 18, 2011

Two months have gone by since my last post. What?!! I just haven’t been present in that way where coherent, semi-coherent, or even, coherent-to-me sentences form and expect to be released from my overflowing mind onto the”page”. My photographs have been few and far between, as well, trapped behind a creative mind-block the size of a giant, locked, freeze-frame shutter. I’ve been floating around in a tank full of fuzz. I wish I could say (actually, I will never wish such a thing) that the wands of inspiration haven’t zapped me more than once, for then I’ve have something to blame. But, this simply isn’t true. There are the books I’ve read and some films I’ve watched (more on those later). There were my recent strolls through the AGO (to see the Chagall exhibit) and the MOCCA ( which never disappoints), pretty much all of the shows at Mois de la Photo à Montréal this past September (how is it possible I didn’t write about that?!) not to mention Bill’s constant, compositional music-vibe humming through the house each and every day.
Can you hear that… ? That’s my regret loop playing over and over again. Can someone change the reel-to-reel, please? But whose gonna change that sucker if I I don’t? Nobody, that’s who, because nobody but I have the power to do so.

There is so much I wanted to accomplish this year and look(!) the year is almost over. I wanted to change the look of corkscrewcurls. I wanted to get more focused, write more (in general) and take more photos. In 2011 I wanted to drum up some new career options, swim, learn to sew and knit up a wooly storm. I planned to eat less, drink less and exercise more and… and…  and (insert sound of me screaming here). I tend to think too much about what I want to do instead of taking that incredible waste source of energy and investing it into getting whatever is on my long list done. But it’s all about perspective, isn’t it? One gal’s regret is someone else’s kick in the butt, or, pat on the back (there, there), or, gentle nudge to get busy (or at least busier). That odd and nagging feeling of ugh can also serve as a wake-up call. Why not use that gut twisting tug as an opportunity to let yourself of that sharp and dangling hook. To stand up on your tippy-toes in order to rise up and unfasten yourself from the sore spot that’s got you harnessed and swaying over that place that isn’t working anymore. Maybe it’s time to let go. Walk away and find yourself a new perspective to look at your situation. You might discover that whateveritis you’ve been hovering over all these years doesn’t suit you anymore, or, that the new angle your viewing it from has brought it all into focus.

I stumbled on this inspiring TedTalk by Kathry Schulz the other day and thought I’d pass it on.

Happy swaying.



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